Why I am here?


Seriously I don’t really know why I am here!hahaha… 😎 😏

But One thing is for sure, I’m not here to impress or to please anybody nor to offend or harm. I don’t care if I have no readers at all. I just want to put my thoughts into words. That’s all.

But really, I do appreciate those who are wasting their time reading my not-so-senseless sentiments.

I Thank you:)

Making my journals publicly is quite challenging since I have to minimize my errors and to be very careful with the choice of words.

I started and I’m used with a pen and  just a simple notebook as a journal, But I cannot just revised it whenever i want, It’s kind of hassle since i have to rewrite it all over again.

I’ve got to know other bloggers as well, and I can say that reading from their blog posts inspired me a lot.

—ℜeal world deserves ℜeal Words.—♥♥♥

“I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.” (From the Diary of Anne Frank)

Bio of that certain Left-handed College Girl with a Mellow Yellow life (echoosssss)


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Look   ‘BIA-hind and BIA-nd the BIA-tiful am-BIA-nce’

Life is indeed not to be feared but to be understood…” that’s what the left-handed college girl with a mellow yellow life believes. She’s turning eighteen this 11th of December.  (Hmmm..legal age !.)

She’s four feet and eleven inches tall,(quiet short for her age ba?)thirty-five kilogram ,fair skin with a black,layered-cut, shoulder-past length ,straighthair. New acquaintances would aways ask her if she has a chinese gene, they would insist na singkit ako ( because of my eyes,) (oh really?)but i beg to disagree because everytime i look myself at the mirror, my eyes specially,  I think they’re both round and big naman ( gosshhh, of all race?)(just kiddin’ 😜 😝.)

She’s not pretty but definitely she’s not ugly. She’s a typical teen with an average IQ and has a habit of forgetting. Dork in her own little world since she doesn’t want to be the center of attention but of course-she’s not anti-social. She’s left-handed(im thankful for that),a retro fan (a bit sentimental),selfie addict–(just like any typical teen of this generation, my phone is loaded with tons of selfies),yellow-holic (imbentong word-since i can’t explain my obsession with the color),shy type or should i say Socially awkward(medyo,NO!sobraaaaa kayaa, I want others to talk to me first, yeah, paimportante noh?haha,di po ako mayabang mahiyain lang tlga,*cross my heart*), a worry wart(sobraaaaa kahit maliliit na bagay), bully(pero hanggang sa isip lang .,haha,lahat napapansin ko naman di lang talaga ako nagsasalita), a lazyass (haha,slight). 

I can be the sweetest of the sweetest and the coldest of the coldest(pag tinupak at may sumpong and if you want me to) If i have the guts to hug you that means i consider you already a close friend. (soooooooooo  *virtual hugs* for yah)  😀

11 will always be my favorite number and don’t ask me why. AAAWhen she’s depress she’d rather write her heart out with tears streaming down her face,eat a lot, pray a lot, then sleep. I’m not violent (haha,but don’t try me)

I hate confrontations, i hate rejections. If you like me, then I like you too, the feeling is  mutual.

I do enjoy watching volleyball & basketball (manood lang-since i’m not into sport, weakling! tsss).I keep journal since I was in 5th Grade tho, not that regular( before i sleep,since it’s my habit of recalling the events of my day before i go to bed.)I prefer spending my spare time watching movies with foodtrips sometimes reading (i’m not really into gala or lakwatsa -i rather stay home pero whenever foodtrips involved always count me in) , or I’m just pouring myself into writing, or simply just letting my mind wander or when I feel like going out, I would tatambay nalang kahit saan tas kakain, Alone :), or I would sing through the song, or I would be playing generals or NFS.

I’m not really a fan of classic novels, i don’t know, I prefer fictions, sci-fi mostly and also crime fic,ESP related and dystopians. I was once an avid reader of wattpad, (hmmm,til now kaya-*inside battle* lessen!). 

I prefer chirchirya over chocolates (ohh but can i have both?). She also have this usual cravings for super duper cheesy popcorn, and pizza, pasta, smoothies/frappe,coffe, milk, adobong pusit, curry, pakbet, adobos,chopsuey and of course chitchiryassssssss, lots and lots of them is my daily survival! :P.I do enjoy and i would love chopping veggies. I just started learning how to cook and to doodle. I love taking photos, candid mostly but im not really into photography. (echos lang) .

P1200905Did you know that I undergo operation when i was 8(I almost die .really. my first ever encounter with dextrose—for acute appendicitis).

I have also this weird transition of medical admission, (you wouldn’t believe me!)(but maybe you would say they’re just concidence)It’s every three years, first off, when i was in the third grade for acute appendicitis and UTI, then 6th grade for Typhoid fever and UTI,  then the last time, Third year High School for dengue fever and UTI. Now, I’m on my second year in college, if this curse would continue, anytime soon,this year, another admission would really happen, but I really hope not, or maybe, it would be my death, next. (haha,just kidding).  But seriously, i need to look out for myself.

I also hate drinking meds, syrup is okay, but not tablets and capsules. (curse them!) Im super duper  maarte. I do have a lot of girl crushes (bi na yata ako, pero srsly).

I also tend to forget the names of new acquaintances. But I do easily remembered their faces. I will actually wracked my brain to remember. Arghh, but I always end up asking them again. It’s so frustrating!

 Music will always be a part of me,haha, I sing (believe me) but i’m not really good on memorizing lyrics,just chorus or just  a part of the song(my weakness but I’m trying to work it out). I’ve been wanting to learn to play instrument specially guitar and piano.I’m not good at dancing, as a matter of fact,  I dance like a complete stick or a bamboo grass(two left foot sucks!) I also have this seasonal clumpsiness and stupidity.

I would always love Spongebob and Doraemon. And guess what? I was once a barbie girl also! Actually i have a collection of barbie dolls and  a lot of paper dolls, and when i say a lot,it’s really a LOT, i tell you.And believe it or not, laugh it out if you like, I won’t mind, my first year in high school is not  about boys, crushes,fashion statements, STUDYING (just like what you thought ofme). 

If you only knew!!!!!

And truth to be told! I still have them all as collection and as memories of my childhood.I also had a huge obsession of collecting rubberbands and teks, and they are still  in my room in a cardboard box ,

Sometimes, I also experience excessive sweating and i hated it.I would always love to start my day with a coffe/milk, rice, -HEAVY BREAKFAAST and end it with another LIGHT YET FULL DINNER (WHUTT???haha). I have this irritating allergy with earrings, that’s the reason i don’t wear one and i don’t have atleast one. I hated wearing something with glitters and PINK.

FOODS  really make me happy and hyper. I also hated cockroaches and drunkard. I have this perverted mind sometimes, and quite judgmental at the same time. I did try to be honest all the time but i just can’t. Im not a talkative type so I rather listen then sleep.

My favorite subject is potion with Prof. Snape.! 😛 (it’s HISTORY and Psychology actually) 😀

As for my view about love? Love is everywhere, you don’t have to look for it. Wait and it will be given unto you.God is love. 🙂

And to make a woman happy, you just have to make her feel special. I’m a shallow person, so pretty small things would be enough and pretty bad things annoy me.

One of my inspiration in writing is that little girl from Germany, the holocaust Princess, from the Jewish Frank family, Anne.

I have this huge crush on Alex Marshall, Zac Efron, Ian harding, Patrick Adams, Chris Evans and of course

THEO JAMES, (he’s just so damn freakin’ HOT and SEXY, he doesn’t have to remove his shirt for me to say that. Actually, this was the very first time,I’m into this kind of fangirling.lol, because I never fangirl like this before and I think it’s really crazy watching my friends head over heels and so into their idols with total obssession, and before I’m just shaking my head to them and smiling like an idiot but look at me now. I can’t get him off my mind.I think i understand what they feel now, I’m being selfish and I don’t want to hear,right in my face that someone from my friends also wants him. This is very different and very unusual for me. Usually I’m not up for six pack abs, or any abs, or toned muscles at all, to be honest and no offense i think it’s gross!ehhww. But in him, it feels so natural, and effortless, he’s the only male actor that really has a certain effect on me just by watching him,I think I will really never get used of watching him and just looking at his picture for the entire day.And I’m so jealous of Shailene, oMG, 

I want to have a degree, a high-payed job, return the favor of helping my family, starting a family of my own. I also want to do a volunteer work. I want to be a lawyer,psychologist,linguist,writer(as if)(hmmm)(dream without limitations!) hell yeah, I’m very ambitious as much as you.! (wink)

Pero seriously, i just want to have a happy life, a happy family.

And my greatest wish of all, hahaha, i wish to have ESP. (evil laugh with wink)(dancing with matching headbang)

I do believe in destiny and forever and witches and wizards and karma.and I don’t believe that humans evolved form apes. No-no. Im a proud follower of Jesus.I love my parents, my brother, my family a bunch!. I would never exchange them for the world. Their happiness is also my happiness.

I have this itching foot for hogwarts!!! lol., LondonItalyBangkok as well!

an avid fan of DYSTOPIAN and car racing  and total action filled and sci-fic MOVIES and PRETTY LITTLE LIARS AND

A PROUD potterhead….SINCE 2007

TAKEN!img1293935156543and currently waiting for my deathwish.

And on my funeral, I want all the flowers to be fresh, with yellow and white combination of flowers. I want those who will attend the funeral to wear white.  As much as i love black, i don’t want  it for my funeral. I don’t like something pricey, just simple ceremony with all my loveones present. I also want the candles to be in white.

Or it can be yellow-themed funeral nga! In other words :D.Do what you want to do with my things, i won’t mind. You can use them or you burn them.

And yeah, my name is BIA Danessa,

BIA with the ‘I’ not ‘E’. (bi-ya)

I would love to hear from you…


Seeing the people you love hurting is really
Heartbreaking. Mas gugustuhin mo pala talaga na sana ikaw nalang yung nasa sitwasyon nila at akuin lahat ng pain na nararamdaman nila.

 Another thing that hurts ay yung you dont know how to cheer them up, kasi pati sarili mo hindi mo kayang i-cheer up,na kahit papano sana mabawasan man lang yung pain. 

Kung pwede lang talagang ako nalang yung masaktan at wag na sila. Ako nalang please. Kasi Sobrang sakit na nakikita sila sa ganung kalagayan.

From a glance…


You have this one life. How do you wanna spend it?

Apologizing? regretting? hating? questioning? running?

This. Yes. This.

I was checking my IG feed when I saw this, Actually, this was  not the first time, It just hit me big time this time, hahaha, seryoso!

I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m not my usual self this past few days, I feel like im scared of something but I really can’t point it out, why? Who? What? I don’t know. I. Don’t. Know. Again, Im not sure of myself, of what I have to do, of what I want to do. I don’t want to push anyone again, because im just scared of something. I still have a lot of what ifs and sometimes i don’t understand myself.

 

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Not just an ordinary day…


February 19,2016

Hindi ko maiwasang mainis sa mga taong nagrereact at nagcocomment agad about sa issue na hindi muna inaalam ang buong kwento. They are just relying sa sinasabi ng iba, na alam nating may mga dagdag-bawas. Research-research din kasi pag may time.

And Seriously, hindi porket kaibigan mo or kapatid mo or kapamilya mo yung dehado ih kakampihan mo na. It’s should be balance. YOU should be balance. You should be fair enough to judge both sides and always be on the right side of the road. Act according to your faith and conscience. And please before you speak, ask God for His enlightenment so that He will speak for you, so to avoid hurtful wordsWe have to be very careful sa mga choice of words na ginagamit natin. Hindi porket nasaktan tayo ay may karapatan na tayong magsalita against other people. As much as possible, dapat dun tayo lagi sa other side of the story, dun sa positive side.
I’m not saying this dahil gusto kong pumapel or whatever. I’m saying all of this, because this is my opinion, this is what I believe.
Well, anyways,

Ang galing lang ni God, this is a very wonderful day for me, I met great people today, people from other religion to whom (gladly) I shared the same stand about the current issue. I thought It was just a typical lunch date, eating and small chat about everything.
It turned to be an appointment, Divine Appointment as what Ate Cindy said earlier, for which I strongly agree. I learned, I was enlightened and I was inspired to finally put into words what I’ve been thinking the first time I heard about this issue, so I made this as to show where I stand about the issue and as a Christian who are willing to defend my faith.
I actually cannot blame Vice-Ganda and Tito Boy for their reaction. Maybe that’s their way of responding to the calling. But I can say that it’s quite exaggerated and that’s not really what I wanted to hear from them, specially after the man of the hour apologized already for the comparison he used.
And I admire Manny Pacquaio so much, for being so firm, lalo na nung sinabi nyang, matalo man sya or atalo, mawalan ng boto, hindi magbabago yung stand nya about the issue.
Ang totoo hindi ko talaga sya gustong iboto for 2016 electionhe was not on my list, because I don’t think he fits the position, but after what happened, I guess he deserves my vote, he deserves the vote. He was so firm and brave to fight for his faith. A crusader indeed.

Hindi ko po ito isinulat just to makisawsaw or anything, or makasakit ng feelings ng iba, Gusto ko lang actually na mag-iwan lang ng thought about this, because we cannot just sit or stand here or watch from a distance and wait till this issue die down, without saying anything.
We, the Christians Community must worked together to defend our faith, we must not be divided by this issues that circling us, In times like this, we need each other.
Again, I’m also not condemning LGBT communities, like many others, naniniwala akong walang masama sa pagiging bakla, tomboy, bisexual. Marami akong kaibigan na belong dito na super love ko. Kung yun ka na talaga then so be it. We can’t do anything about it. Pero may limitations yan, nagiging masama pag may mga (sorry for the term) mahahalay na na acts, Sexual acts between same sex, you know what I mean. And syempre, yung same-sex marriage.
I remembered earlier during the fellowship, one of them shared about her bestfriend being a gay, She tried everything na daw na hilahin sa faith nya yung gay friend nya, she aalso tried to dress up to attract him, but nothing happened kasi pareho talaga sila ng gusto, He would always say daw “mas maganda pa rin ako sayo”. So up to now, dahil hindi nya talaga mahila, she always pray for him nalang.
Another thing That I observed was this, this was also was mentioned earlier from the fellowship, and I really agree.
Actually Hindi lang naman si Senator-aspirant Manny Pacquiao ang nagsalita about this issue, marami na, marami ng nauna na kapareho ng stand nya, ilan sa mga kilalang tao for High IQ’s na mas Malala pa yung comparison na ginamit.
Sad, but we came to this conclusion na, Intelligence/IQ na ba talaga ang isa sa basis ng level ng pagtingin at pagjudge or pagrespect sa isang tao?

God loves us, Each and everyone of us, It’s not us as a person He hates, It’s our sinful acts. That would always be the case.

 

An Open-Letter for the Phenom Alyssa Valdez


It will end, but one thing will remain:

 

YOU.
True Indeed!
For me, it will always be you, ALYSSA CAYMO VALDEZ
It will definitely end, (Your last Season on UAAP) BUT ONE THING WILL REMAIN: My love and admiration for YOU.
Such a very sweet, very simple, super humble superstar, THE PHENOM “Baldo”— captain of the Ateneo Women’s Volleyball team.
Alyssa has it all. 🙂 Tho, I’m not into sports, I learn to love Volleyball (just by watching tho :D, aside from basketball of course.)

The first time I laid my eyes on her( television tho.) 😛 , I was really amazed, how she plays, how she spike, how she smile all throughout the game, how she get up and bounce back after a painful lose. I was charmed in an instant. And then I became a fan and a supporter of yours.

I remembered, that was four years ago, if I’m not mistaken, An ordinary Sunday for me, Grabeee lang talaga. From then on, I would always watch your games, from UAAP, Shakey’s League, beach Volleyball tournament and whenever you have TV guestings and also reading articles about you from newspaper to magazines, I even cut them out sometimes and file them.

She is really beautiful inside and out,–a loving daughter, a great friend, a responsible student-athlete, a great leader, a super down-to-earth lady phenom, a God-fearing person with a super duper big heart, and of course, her simplicity is what I love her the most. I love her eyebags too:)

It’s your last year playing for the Ateneo, Omeyghedddd, I’m gonna miss you on court playing for UAAP. Things will be different na after this season.

Prior to your open letter for the UAAP on FOX Sports Philippimes last month before the opening of the Volleyball league, Here’s to my counterpart as a fan of yours.

So As you enter your final season in the UAAP, here are some of the things I’m sure I will miss when everything’s done and over with.
1. The goosebumps and excitement to watch you playing in the UAAP
2. The super duper mega hyper LOUD Cheers from everyone in the Arena —shouting your name and goes wild between your powerful spikes, serving the ball for an ace, tossing for a drop ball, WHENEVER YOU SCORE! , and of course when you, Ms. MVP reigns.
3. The rollercoaster ride, whenever you win, whenever you lose, and when you bounce back.
4. Stalking your social media account (W/c Im sure I will still be doing) No holidays nor weekends.
5. Too much sweating and the pounding on my chest whenever you play in a very crucial game.
6. Me, feeling a Volleyball analyst before, during and after your every game
7. That immediate reaction of mine, ‘Secretly lait’ and ‘Inis’ for those bashers who doesn’t know what they’re saying about you. INGGIT lang sila!
8. Every bet I won with my brother, betting on who will win-who will lose-who will give the last point of the game-who will make the first point.
9. Your teammates, of course, who you played with,and the ‘happyhappy lang’ ni coach Tai.

 
I can go on with all the things I’ll be missing, but for sure, I will be missing you.
Yes, YOU,
Alyssa! Your smile, your dimple, your eyes.
EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (Alyssa)
. So thank you.
You inspired me lot.
It’ll end soon, but I know you’ll still be there.
It’ll end soon, but the love and passion for volleyball will never waver.
It will end. But life goes on.
And it will end. Soon. This is your last flight for the blue and white.

Luma- LOVELIFE ka na ulit, hahaha so happy for you!

As long as you’re happy, happy na din ako. 

God bless on your Career and Congratulation na agad  Ate Ly!

I will always be here for you, and I’ll support you all the way. Wishing you the happiness and continuous flow of blessings/success. I love you from the bottom of my heart Legendary Queen V!

 

-B

Hmmm, BOUNCE BACK tayo lovesss, hahaha!

AND I  promise to meet you soon, to have a picture/selfie with you!

HeartStrong!

Long lost post of a once lost Bee


I clearly remembered the night before my very first day of being a kolehiyala, I wasn’t able to sleep, like seriously. I was not excited. I was scared. I kept on asking myself “Can I survive?”. So I was saying, hindi pa talaga nagsisink-in sa akin that I was already a college student, taking engineering which I never imagine myself to begin with.

Never in my wildest dream!

Also to shift  from one course to another never crossed my mind when I first set foot on that university. Having enrolled on that course too. I never planned it. I never wished. It’s just happened.

Nooooooooooooo, hahaha, actually, it was a last minute decision talaga! , as if I have a choice, that’s what my father wanted me to take, So Do I have the choice? I can’t argue, they are the one financing my studies.  If you notice from my previous rants/posts, what I really wanted to take was Psychology, it doesn’t matter whether AB or BS.  I just have a thing for human nature and the likes. I don’t know, but I find them very interesting.

Oh by the way,in case you’re wondering, I enrolled in BS in Petroleum Engineering at Palawan State University, Main Campus. IT’s also a five year course with NO BOARD EXAM. So meaning, after graduation, you are already an engineer. If you get lucky, this is the career with the highest salary, like among all the careers in the whole wide world.

I don’t know if you’re aware of this course since as far as I know only 2 university here in the Philippines are offering this course, actually, Palawan State University was the first, not only in the country but to the whole Southeast Asia. That’s why there are a lot of foreign students from around the globe and of course local students from different provinces of the country, Bohol, Cebu, Cavite, Cagayan, Zamboanga, Davao and even Manilenyos, from Mapua, UP, and Ateneo and La Salle.

I think, It’s because, Malampaya is here in Palawan, and Batangas State University in Batangas, since the raw materials were being processed there.

ENGINEERING, the hell! I’m not even  good at math,  I am short-tempered with numbers, Too bad, I didn’t inherit my father’s knack on numbers. I don’t really hate it I guess, but I really don’t like solving a problem for an hour, hell! I rather memorize a very long piece of whatsoever.

I don’t really know why I agree with my father, haha,

Hmmmm.Actually I think I know, haha, I chose this over accountancy and education, Goshh,” I rather be in Engineering nalang, “, that was my mindset back then.

Hahaha, I really thought I made the best decision.

I really don’t have a concrete plan din kasi, as in, I never made up my mind, It feels like I’m not ready for college, so I just relied on that entrance examination,  I told myself that I’ll just go with the flow, I’ll just go with what will be the result. If I pass and will be qualified for Pet. E, then so be it, actually, I almost write BS Psyche on that First Choice blank, but I imagined my father’s disappointed face if I push what I wanted. So, I wrote it on the Second. After that, I told my father about my thoughts before passing that college application form but he never said anything.

And yes, he won. I was among the 150 freshmen students that were qualified.

“I actually believe in myself” , I used to, YES! nasobrahan nga siguro ng konti, haha, kaya ayun, kahit na hindi naman ako nagpabaya ng husto, ih kinulang ng konting push. Kaya ko naman ih, I knew it,(Tsss, puro ka kasi  yabang, BIA,) pero seriously I know myself and also my limitations. I think I really just thought (too much) highly of myself, since I survived my first semester with ease having a GWA of 1.81. Kaso namihasa ,ayun, may ending nga.

I have to shift from PET to ME, BUT It’s not that I failed in one of my subjects.

NO! I would never allow that. I won’t let that happen, like ever! Even tho, I know I have my super duper laziness- but despite of that naman kasi, -I always listen naman, I wasn’t able to give my 100% dedication, I knew that. Maybe my motivation to study and to strive and to excel was not enough. My effort was not enough. But seriously, I never study hard naman talaga  (nagrereview lang night before the exam or sometimes an hour before the exams) —if they only knew! And  that was always the case naman  lagi, since my elementary days palang. But one thing Im very proud to say and to admit that sobrang sipag ko gumawa ng projects, I do my projects on my own and pagpupuyatan,paghihirapan ko talaga at gagastusan. And of course, masipag ako pumasok because of Baon. Hahaha but to study and spend time or even just an hour just to review my notes ng kusa, thats out of my league. Well, naging papetikpetiks kasi ako kahit papano ng elementary at HS, and yes, nadala ko yun hanggang college.

 

College was far different. Too bad, I just realized that lately, when this unfortunate chuchu happened.

Well, enough of the tale,

Let’s say that I failed to comply with the required GWA of my first chosen course which was 2.25.Yeah!, and my GWA last last sem was  just 2.3.  Guess, I was not lucky enough with my profs, lalo, I don’t have the charm and medyo mahiyain pa ako. My minors subject were ranging from 1.5 -2.0 but sadly majors were the complete opposite, ranging from 2.5-3.0

 

It was really my first ever major failure in life. Seriously. It was depressing.

NAKAKAPANGHINAYANG, -marami ang gustong makapasok at maqualify sa program, sinayang ko yung upportunity that was given to me.

NAKAKAKONSENSYA, –for the efforts of my parents to send me to school, the money and the support and eveything.

NAKAKAINIS-this is for myself, for not giving my full effort and dedication, for not studying hard.

Kung kelan seryoso na ako na tatapusin ko sya, saka nya naman ako binitiwan at pinakawalan,

hahaha I actually don’t know how to tell my parents about it. I don’t know how to bring it up. So I tried to fix it pa naman, and then nung hindi na talaga, that was the time na I have no choice but  to tell them, but before that I was  dropping hints already.  I was literally crying when I told them, I can’t help it. It was also the first time I cried during that depression stage. They told me to moved on and just forget it. They were with me all throughout.

Back then, while having that labyrinth, I keep asking myself, why did that happen to me, How could that happen to me, Why it has to be me, Where did I go wrong? (lols,kanta pa hahaha, )

Actually, It was not just me,(good for me tho-since I can’t really imagine myself surviving and being able to stand again if it was just me).,  almost half of  our block and also a few from the other 3 blocks, including my 3 closest friends. (Atleast I have karamays-which I was thankful for, tho  I really shoudn’t,-back then)

Pero, I realized, maybe what happened to me, and to my friends was really a blessing in disguise, since our friendship became stronger, we may have our different paths to take, One pursue BS Psychology, the other Nursing, and me and the other BS Mech.Eng—But we always see to it that we see each other for atleast once a month.  We may not always talk or text or see each other, but another BUT, we always see to it, that we are always there for each other.

My family? I don’t know what to say, since they made me feel loved, I was not punished not even scolded when I told them, But of course, even though they won’t tell, I know they were quite disappointed, and I cannot blame them. My mom and my father talked to me and asked  about my plans and advised na wag nang lumayo ng ibang program, so that I can graduate on time, which was also my plan, because I also planned and promised on going back again on the program the next semester, and to ensure that I will be qualified again. –Since that was also the advice(to enroll first in ME-kasi that was the closest na kapareho ng curriculum sa PET- and to go back again the next sem) that was given to us by the chairman of the Program and the Dean nung nakiusap kami to be accepted and to be given first and last chance to prove ourselves again, meaning to say, we’re asking for Probation, kasi hindi pa naming nagagamit yung policy on probation ng program for every student which was already used by some of our blockmates that last semester. But our written request/letter was decline, since they will strictly imposed the 2.25 GWA daw. Which was so IRONIC for us since sa amin lang nangyari yung ganun, The hell? We knew a lot of our seniors and higher years who told us na hindi naman daw effective yung policy na  yun sa kanila, at marami na yung paulit-ulit na nababagsak sa subject (even majors) at di nakakaabot sa  required GWA pero nakakapag-enrol pa din sa program.Take note, It’s a rule na Hindi ka pwedeng ma-fail even sa NSTP, coz if you will, you will be automatically removed from the program.

So that’s it, we did our best already, we can’t do anything na so we followed the advise,  we enrolled and we tried to moved  on. Eventually, We had moved on with the help of the new classmates who were very accommodating and very welcoming,  we met amazing people who easily became our friends and make eveything smooth for us,-also our professors and teachers from ME, who constantly discouraged us about PET E’s, Saying that, they have no licensed and that,” walang kwenta” , na wag na daw kami bumalik dun since paubos na din yung oil.-well at first, we find it as insult, but I realized that what they said were partially and actually true at the same time.

Actually, I started this written rant, well, when that happen, I just can’t finish it and post it, and It’s been really hard for me.  I was hurt. I was bitter about everything. I pitied myself.  I was angry with myself. It felt like I was being punished and the world was closing down on me.  The pain was fresh and for me It’s better  if I just distance myself for a while from everything, from almost everyone, even my friends and from Marvin—which was a mistake since I didn’t realized I was pushing them away.

I even questioned God, but then, I realized who am I? It’s my fault after all. There is no one to blame but  ME. I admit, naging mas mahirap since I let my pride took over me.  I was so ashamed with myself, to my parents specially, and even my friends. But can you blame me? It was really hard, I swear.  I kept on praying, I kept on believing that Maybe it was for the better, But  again , It was not that easy. I felt also alone at first, I longed for my friends care, their call, but at the same time, I was afraid and so ashamed to face them. The hell, and that was really a mistake, since I already pushed some of the people who care about me.

 

My current standing is Second Year Mechanical Engineering ( supposed to be 2nd year naman talaga), a Perks of having enrolled in the same college, konti lang ang hahabulin na subjects para makahabol and to be a regular student again., tho still irregular, since I still have 4 subjects na hahabulin, and it will took 2 summer classes. It was not really hard naman pala, actually, I find it masaya, since I met a lot of people, like super a lot, some of them became my friends pa. The only ugly side of being irreg was that you have to adjust with the regular schedule, And another thing was the Monday-Saturday classes which is nakakapagod ng onti. I was able to fixed my GWA last sem, it was higher than I expected actually, And that really helps on regaining my self-esteem, that’s why  I decided to stay in this program since I found the contentment and happiness I’ve been looking for, Well, I guess. I have a feeling that this is it already.

 

I think I already moved on, hahaha, I’m happy and I’m content. I have my true friends. I have someone as my inspiration. I have my family. I have God.  I will stay in this program until I graduate. I really hope that this is where the Almighty Father wants me to be. This is where I should be. I believe that God has a plan for me. I can do this.


there are those people who aren’t contented with themselves, I mean those who can’t mind their own business, and it seems that it is a necessity for them to fiddle with other people’s lives. I get it that there were those who are really concern, those who genuinely care, but of course, not all them are. They were the complicated ones, detestable, very sneaky, stuck-up, and two-faced.
I don’t want to be mad, I don’t want to hate them, It’s just that, I can’t help but ,argghhh, the feels!
I really have to let this out here, it’s better here, this way.
I also hate this feeling and I’m so sorry for this.
..

Having a hard time? You might need this today


  1. Time doesn’t wait for you, take every chance you can.

–Act now. Start now,’ika nga, “wag ng ipagpabukas ang mga bagay kung pwede naming gawin na ngayon.” Take every opportunity as a challenge, take every chances and don’t be afraid. Take actions. Walang mangyayari sayo kung tutunganga ka lang. Act on your age. Act on your own.  Palakasan na nga lang daw ng loob yan. Just believe in yourself, YOU can do it.  I believe in you.

2. Your friendship will fall apart, so prioritize the people who matter to you.

–there is no perfect relationship, I know that and I know you know that too, hindi lahat ng tao permanente sa buhay mo. May mga aalis talaga sa buhay mo. I’m telling you this, kasi this is the real truth. My point is, It’s a matter of balancing. Hindi pwedeng work ka lang ng work. Hindi pwedeng gimik lang ng gimik. Every relationship needs quality time. Give time for yourself. Give time for your family and friends.  Learn to give importance sa mga taong nandyan lagi para sayo like your family, and don’t you ever take them for granted. Priority nga!

3. No one else controls you, always remember that.

–yes!, it’s your own life. You shouldn’t make someone dictate you especially if you’re already on your age. You have the freedom for yourself. You’re not anyone’s slave. You have to make your own decisions. Decide for your own and be happy and be responsible with it. Be yourself! Wag kang papaapekto lagi sa mga negative comments na naririnig mo sa ibang taong nakapaligid sayo dahil ikaw lang ang totoong nakakakilala sa sarili mo. They do not know your story, wag mo nalang silang pansinin. Wag kang ma-pepressure, enjoy and savor every moment of your life.

4. Stop being bitter about the past and move on, misery only aids miserable.

–hmm, tigilan mo ng pag-so-stalk sa girlfriend ng ex mo  or sa ex mo mismo, hahaha, choss, dejoooke lang. Hayaan mo sya, hindi sila kawalan, maraming tao sa mundo! Wag kang manghinayang. Sila dapat ang manghinayang sayo.

Hayy, move on na! wag mo ng pahirapan ang sarili mo, please lang! Be happy for them, be happy for yourself.  You know what? Pamper yourself kahit sandali lang. Treat yourself and make yourself whole again? Kumain ka sa paborito mong resto, fastfood. KUMAIN KA! Wag mo lang sobrahan! Magpa-hairdo ka? Magpa-salon? Magpa-Spa? Basta gawin mo ng gusto mo  , Inhale the good vibes and exhale the bad vibes. Thanked God for all the blessings and be happy.

And yes, matuto ka sa nangyari  at wag mo ng hayaang malagay sa miserableng sitwasyon. Makulay ang mundo at ang buhay! Sayang ang pagkakataon. Sayang ang buhay.

5. Remember little details about everyone, their smile when you mention them is an amazing reward.

–Wag maging super self-centered and self-absorbed ha yung sakto lang naman ang kelangan ih.  Learn to appreciate other people din, syempre wag naman yung pakitang tao at kaplastikan, okidokiie? . Learn to say thank you. Wag madamot sa smile!   Give it to everyone. Give it every day to every people you meet. Good vibes all the way! Maliit na bagay pero Malaki ang impact nyan sa mga taong nasasalubong mo everyday na iba-iba ang kwento at pinagdadaanan sa buhay tulad mo. Aminin mo, it such a very amazing feeling pag nakakatanggap ka ng ‘Thank you” , “God bless you”  at syempre yung simple pero napakasincere na ngiti from other people. Actually, minsan sa mga ngiting yun, buo na ang araw mo. So SMILE para humaba ang buhay! Good vibes lang tayo. Pagaanin ang buhay!

6. It might be tough, but it’s okay to let people go.

–It’s super hard to let people go, *kaway *kaway sa mga alam ang feeling na ‘to.!

“Masakit! Di ko kaya pag wala ka!” Yung  mga ganerns, wag kayong makornihan, kasi totoo talaga yan! Ang hirap pakawalan kasi mahal natin sila. I’m not only talking about relationship having a fall-out, I’m also talking about our loved ones who passed away. Diba? Super sakit? Pero wala tayong magagawa, but to just let them go, and accept the truth na hindi na natin sila makakasama ever. And we all have to do is to put them always in our heart and to treasure those memories with them. It’s okay. Be okay.

  1. Everything is God’s plan and that’s life.

–You believe in God. You believe His words. You believe His plans. You believe His ways. You trust Him with all your heart. And that is the life I’m talking about.

–bia

God bless us! :*

#Mindsets



The purpose of life is not just to be happy.

The purpose of life my love, is to feel,

You must understand your pain is essential.

Sometimes,

You have to stop worrying, doubting

& just have faith that things will work out.

Just because your world is falling apart

doesns’t mean you have to fall apart .

When everything seems crazy ,

You should be calm.

Don’t let the outer chaos you are facing

get inside of you.

I forgive myself & then I move on.

You can sit there forever,

lamenting about how bad you’ve been, feeling guilty

until you die

& not one tiny slice of that guilt

will do anything to change

a single thing in the past.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT,

OR DIE IN YOUR PAST,

IT’S YOUR CHOICE.

The past is over & it cannot be changed , fixed or undone

by continuing to think about it.

The quicker we can get over our mistakes,

Understand the lessons, & move forward,

The healthier we become to ourselves

and everyone around us.

You are free to think of thoughts of worry or joy,

& whatever you choose will attract

the same kind back to you.

Worry attracts worry.

Joy attracts joy.

If you want to be happy

you have to be happy on purpose.

When you wake up

You cant just wait to see

what kind of day you’ll have

You have to decide

what kind of day you’ll have.

You don’t have to depend

or explain your decisions to anyone.

It’s your life.

LIVE IT WITHOUT APOLOGIES.

Are you a People-Pleaser too?


People- Pleaser

people pleaase

In other words, PEOPLE PLEASERS want everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked them to do just to please anyone. They are the people who put everyone else’ happiness and comfort before themselves. Saying “yes” to them is not a choice anymore but a HABIT. Their feeling of security from the people around them is the approval of others which is not supposed to be. They worry a lot about how other people see them when they say “No” or when they declined to an offer. It’s because they feel that  they will be disliked after.Pero seryoso, lagi ko talagang iniisip kung ano ang sasabihin at iisipin ng ibang tao.

So how do you know if you’re a tried-and-true people pleaser? Ask yourself these 10 questions:

1. Do you feel guilty or that you’ve let someone down if you were to say no?

–YES. All the time, I’d say sorry repeatedly to that person and I wo’t stop until she’d say that I’m crazy because of making  a big deal out of it,and that I don’t have something to be sorry for.

2. Are you the go-to person for family and close friends?

Not really, I dunno, haha, pero when they ask for my help, I always make sure that I’m available for them,I  attend to the needs of others before mine, well not always but, most of the time, not because I’m obliged, I just feel like helping lalo pag alam ko namang kaya ko pa.

3. Do you agree to help others even when you don’t really have the time or resources to do so?

-Well, not really naman, lalo pag alam kong hindi kakayanin ng powers ko,wala din naman akong magagawa, pero I seriously feel bad after declining, and I worry that maybe he/she has something against me after that. And i really hated it.

4. Are you often pressed for time or late?

YES, hindi ko alam kung paranoid lang ako or what, pero , most of the time really, kahit na I still have lot of time to finish something, I feel  the pressure, I mean I feel pressured, na usually nagiging dahilan ng pagbagal ko sa paggawa, which is really really frustrating kasi puro ako regrets after, kahit alam kong wala ng mapupuntahan lahat ng pagsisisi ko.

5. Are you afraid of being called selfish?

-YES, definitely, sino ba naman ang gugustuhing masabihan na “selfish ka”/”Ang selfish mo”. I rather be called ugly or i rather be bullied. Pero seriously? subukan nyo lang! magkakaworld war 3, choss, kidding!! 😀 

6. Do you avoid conflict and confrontation?

YES, always! I hate confrontations/arguments/conflict, kaya nga to make the issue short, I rather stay silent, well, most of the time, kasi depende naman din sa tao or sa case. I mean, sa tao, if kilala ko na talaga sya, Pag alam ko namang open-minded yung tao , ih syempre inilalabas ko di naman lahat ng sentimyento ko about the issue, kasi alam ko namang na magegets nya yung point ko. Pero syempre dahil, not everyone is open-minded. kaya you have to be very careful. Ayoko ng away  talaga, SWEAR! Ambigat sa dibdib ng alam mong may taong galit sayo, or may sama ng loob,lalo napa-keen ko, when it comes to the change of behavior ng mga tao sa paligid ko, lalo pag nag iba yung pakikitungo sakin, ang paranoid ko lang, sobraa! feeling ko umiikot sakin lahat, kaya ayun konting ano, feeling ko kasalanan ko. mabilis akong makapansin,  Hindi talaga ako warfreak, kaya nga, usually ako na talaga yung nagpapakumbaba para lang matapos na, ako na hihingi ng sorry, ako na unang lalapit sa tao, kahit na alam ko sa sarili ko na wala akong kasalanan. Di ko din maitatanggi na I just go with the flow most of the time kahit na ini-excercise ko pa ang freedom of expression ko, I always give way as to make the issue short, kasi nga I hate arguments.Pero  I don’t go to that extent of telling lies just to please people, vocal naman ako when it comes to my views and opinions kahit papano, specially when they asked for mine. 

7. Does your relationship or friendships feel one-sided, that you do most of the work?

–No, the opposite actually! I feel like ako yung kulang sa effort, sakin yung may problema, I feel like I’m not good enough for them. I feel like hindi pa sapat at hindi ko natutumbasan yung mga ginagawa nila for me. 

8. Do you fear that people will stop liking you or wanting to be your friend if you say no?

–YES, pero after that, sinasabi ko sa sarili ko na “kung ayaw nila sakin, mas lalong ayoko sa kanila, WTH, the feeling is mutual” I won’t go to that extent na ipilit yung sarili ko sa taong ayaw sakin, wait!! when it comes to friendship lang naman yun, pero ibang usapan pag mahal ko yung tao, because I will do anything,really, just to win them back, lalo pag alam kong may pag-asa ako. cchooss. PERO, back to the topic, wiw, haha, usually YES, dahil for the hundredth time ko ng sasabihin na paranoid nga ako, feeling ko pag hindi ko nasabayan yung trip ng mga friends, iniisip ko agad na baka lagi na nila akong i-isolate dahil dun, or baka pinakikisamahan nalang nila ako after that, pero ang totoo hindi na nila ako gustong kasama. Wohoooo, reallly.

9. Do you feel taken advantage of?

–YES, most of the time, feeling ko lang naman siguro, hahaha, lalo kapag those certain people are just present pag may kelangan sila sayo, pero iniisip ko nalang lagi na mabuti na din yun, kasi atleast papano naaalala nila ako, oh diba? Im so lucky, super lucky, super blessed na hindi pa rin nila ako ini echapwera at ini-ignore. I still have importance to them kahit papano, andfor which I am seriously grateful, really grateful. (no sarcasm really! 😉 )

10. Do you sometimes feel angry or resentful of the person asking for your help but would never say anything?

–YES, of course, hindi na tinatanong yan, seriously?? it’s not that I like to be mentioned or to be known, jezz, I dont want fame, but A simple “thank you” wont harm naman diba? kahit simpleng appreciation man lang. Ang sarap kasi sa feeling na may mag-te-thank you sayo, after doing a favor, nakaka-uplift ng mood lalo pag pagod ka, nakaka-inspire at nakakagood vibes. diba? nagegets nyo naman yung point ko diba? Parang nakakawalang ganang gumawa ng favor para sa isang tao na hindi man lang marunong mag-appreciate. You’re Welcome nalang ha! Grabe, sorry and Thank you nalang din sa offer mo next time, hmm, of course there won’t be NEXT TIME anymore.

If you answered “yes” to several or more of these questions, chances are you’re a classic people pleaser. That means you’ve got some work to do, including learning how to say that dreaded “no” more often so you can prioritize yourself and your health.

ooooohgashhhh !!

TOTAL “YES” :  7

TOTAL “NO”  : 1

with 2 “NOT REALLY”

A People Pleaser is one of the nicest and most helpful people you know. They never say “no.”  You can always count on them for a favor.  In fact, they spend a great deal of time doing things for other people. They get their work done, help others with their work, make all the plans, and are always there for family members and friends.  

 Unfortunately, it can be an extremely unhealthy pattern of behavior.

Seriously?? omaygash,

hayy, PARANOID.

What to do???

(The list not mine tho, its from PsycheCentral )

  1. Realize you have a choice.

CONSIDER DONE.I know I have a choice, hahaha, ang arte-arte ko nga ih, so i guess, achieve ko na ‘to 🙂 I know when to say No and when to say yes, the only problem is that, I always feel bad after saying No to a friend. Pero seriously, minsan i left with no choice talaga, And I really have to deal with the issue para matapos lang.

2. Set your priorities.

-WORK IN PROGRESS.hmm, I think i have to work on this, because, sometimes I don’t know myself, I mean, sometimes I don’t really know my priorities, I don’t really know what i want and what I need. I can’t even tell which is which.

3. Stall.

CONSIDER DONE.hmm, I dont have any problem with this, haha, since I always see to it na kaya kung gawin yung pinapagawa before ko tanggapin, I’ll ask repeatedly about the details, tapos i would ask every detail, pero syempre I would always warn them na wag mag expect ng mataas, hahaha, baka kasi di ko mareach yung standards nila at madisappoint ko pa sila, tapos ako pa yung lalabas na mali after. I really take my time to decide and before making a decision. Pero syempre pressured pa din kasi nga feeling ko di ko marereach yung mga expected standards nila. Lalo kapag minamadali ako. Which is why kung pwede ayokong nagca-cram, pero minsan ,unavoidable and I’m left with no choice talaga.

4.Set a time limit.

CRITICAL & IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE ACTION.Ogash, the very problem of mine! Im super hina with time management, problema ko talaga to, dahil super bagal ko kumilos, hihi, habit ko na din ata ang pagiging late but not really when it comes to classes and passing my requirements(school projects) . Pero seriously, haha, andami kong nasasayang na oras, and everytime nna may lakad with friends, alam na this!! 9 oclock will be 10 oclock and sometimes 11 or 12. hahaha. Hindi nasusunod ang time limit, kelangan there’s an extension. OMG, i really need to work this out. I have to stick with the plan and the time alloted.

5.Consider if you’re being manipulated.

CONSIDER DONE.yeps, always, achieved na din, syempre papayagan ko ba naman na lokohin at paikutin ako, hell no! shockss. Ayoko ng ginagamit ako for their own sake or for their own personal intention, magiging okay lang siguro yun pag alam ko in the first place and better yet, sinabi mo nalang sakin kung anu talaga ang kelangan mo, kesa gumawa ka pa ng kwento at kung anu-anong alibi.

6.Create a mantra

TO BE DONE.ohh! BIG word! haha, what is a mantra by the way??

Accrdng to Mr. webster (Meriam)

-its a sound, a word, or phrase that is repeated by someone who is praying or meditating

-a mystical formula  of invocation or incantation

ohh? now I know! This has something to do with my habits I guess, I have to chant this everyday to remind myself. I really need this! “Please yourself first, before other people”  whatdoyahthink?? 🙂

7.Say no with conviction.

CRITICAL BUT WORK IN PROGRESS.No is a no! Another problem of mine that I have to work on, kasi minsan nababali ko talaga yung NO ko, pero may reasons na man yun and depende sa circumstances, syempree hindi rin basta basta. Pero seriously, I need to work on this so bad.

8.Use an empathic assertion.

CONSIDER DONE. Seriously?? According to TILLMAN, who that is, haha,

“assertiveness is really about connection.” sooo, well,hindi naman siguro pagyayabang kung sasabihin kung open-minded ako,  I always have reason for eveything. I always put myself in other person’s shoes as to understand their side of the story before judging them, to understand to where they are coming from at kung ano ang pinaglalaban nila, kaya siguro hindi ako warfreak,haha. I think the only problem here is, the other person you’re trrying to help, yung mga taong hindi kasing open ng iyo yung mind nila, yung iba ang way ng pag-iisip, yung sinasabi ng iba na makitid ang utak na mahirap paliwanagan, at kahit anung paintindi mo sa kanila ay di nila maiintindihan at pag-iisipan ka pa ng di maganda kahit ikaw na ang nagmamagandang loob.

9.  Consider if it’s worth it.

WORK In PROGRESS, kahit ganun, minsan kasi ang hirap i-explain nga ng side mo, at ang hirap magsabi ng totoo lalo kapag alam mong hindi nila matatanggap yung katotohanan, ang hirap maging honest kasi alam mong masasaktan sila. Pero sabi nga, If you really care about the person, you should always tell the truth. Kung pwede habang maaga. Pero minsan hindi rin talaga ako nag iisip kaya yan napapahamak at nasasayang ang effort. Guess, I really have to work on this, na dapat lahat ng ginagawa ko ay may halaga at may kahihinatnan.

10.Don’t give a litany of excuses.

CRITIICAL & IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE ACTION. hahaha, well, pag ayoko talaga hindi ako mauubusan ng reason, ambilis ko ding makaisip. Litany talaga?? hahaha

11.Start small.

CONSIDER DONE. Well, I know naman na lahat nagsisimula sa wala, or sa pinakamababa. Kaya alam ko na yun din ang kelangan kong gawin and I shoud’n’t  act as if alam ko ang lahat. 

12.Practice successive approximation.

WORK IN PROGRESS. There are times kasi na I would just stop or I would just give up lalo kapag nawawalan ako ng gana. Hindi ko na pinu-push kasi feeling ko wala ring mangyayari, little did I know, everything is possible naman. For me it has something to do with confronting people, which  I find really hard, well, wala naman talagang mawawala if you just talk to the persons involved, mas okay yun kesa gumawa ka ng chismiss behind their backs, or you would instantly jump into conclusion then stir a fight  agad-agad.

13. Don’t apologize — if it’s not your fault.

CRITICAL & IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE ACTION. Seriously?? omg. Im such a SERIAL APOLOGIST really, dahil nga paranoid ako, akala ko kasalanan ko or sometimes para naman matapos na yung isyu, ako nalang yung gagawa ng paraan, ako nalang yung magso-sorry, kahit na alam ko na wala naman akong ginawa.

14. Remember that saying no has its benefits.

CONSIDER DONE, of course,haha, after saying no to a friend, tho I feel bad, iniisip ko yung positive result ng ginawa ko para mabawaasan naman yung guilt na nararamdaman ko.

15. Set clear boundaries — and follow through.

WORK IN PROGRESS. Sometimes I would follow this boundaries and limitations, but sometimes I don’t, Sometimes I even go to the extent of overboarding just to push my luck. And I don’t really have a very clear boundaries. Sometimes hindi ko alam kung anu ba talaga ang pinaglalaban ko. haha, baliw ih! Pero pag alam ko naman na imposible chaka hindi na magagawan ng paraan, I would not really push na din. 

16. Don’t be scared of the fallout.

–CRITICAL & IN NEED OF IMMEDIATE ACTION. hahah, yess, dahil nga worry-wart ayan, nagiging futuristic ako, in a way na puro negative outcome or result ang naiisip ko, oh diba?? haha, puro negative, which is nakakatakot talaga. ,

“the fallout is never as bad as we think it is.” 

really,? I hope so too, pero hindi talaga yun ang nararamdam ko.

, “people are not thinking about you as much as you think.”

This, hahaha, is what I realized lately, dahil paranoid ako, akala ko sakin umiikot ng mund nila, lol, feeling lang naman :D, akala ko pinag uusapan ako ng ibang tao, behind my back,akala ko Im being judge, which is hindi naman pala, ang assuming ko lang! nakakahiya hahaha, little did I know wala naman pala silang pakealam sakin, sad truth tho, kasi ako lang yung gumagawa ng kwento at nag iimagine. hayy, they don’t even fucking care pala,! and when you share naman,nakakainis ! kasi yung gusto mo sanang marinig na words of encouragement, hindi mo makukuha not even mag usisa, it feels like hindi sila interesado sayo, yung tipong pare-pareeho sila ng sasabihiin, “okay lang yan! , kaya mo yan” tapos yung lang talaga, nakakasawa at nakakawalang gana yung mga taong ganun, no offense, pero thats what I  felt kasi.

17. Consider who you want to have your time.

CONSIDER DONE, since kilala ko naman yung mga taong maaasahan ko din ,well, syempre when it comes to them, hindi rin ako nagdadalawang isip, yung mga taong alam kong worth it tulungan, at nag eenjoy na kasama ako, yung gusto rin ako kasama, yung mga taong nakakaintindi sa mga trip ko sa buhay, yung mga taong gagawa ng paraan para makasama lang nila ako 🙂

18. Self-soothe.

WORK IN PROGRESS, well ,I always do this, the problem is the effectivity, minsan kasi hindi effective,haha, I feel bad pa din kahit na alam ko na tama yung ginawa ko, the guilt is eating me ,kahit hindi naman talaga dapat 🙂 “Go BIA, kaya mo yan, ikaw na din yan! ” haha.  “All is well, because you do well BIA, God loves you”, haha, Or i would pat myself. haha, 

19.Recognize when you’ve been successful.

WORK IN PROGRESS. nererecognize ko naman talaga, kaya lang kasi natatabunan talaga lahat yun ng maliit at nag iisang mali ko, hindi naman ako perfectionist ih, pero kasi ganun talaga, iba pa din yung feeling apg alam mong wala kang naging malli, the confidence is really high, and you can relax. I guess I really have to learn to just focus on the positive side of everything that I do and disregard those things that went wrong. And better yet, to learn from all those mistakes nalang.

20. Keep a confidence file.

-WORK IN PROGRESS, hahaha minsan kasi feeling ko over-confident ako, minsan as in walang kaconfi-confident, as in zero, hahaha, depende kasi din, hindi naman ata possible yun na all the time, you have confidence, grabee hahaha, I really have to work this out, Pero syempre, I have self-esteem na kahit paano, at may tiwala naman din ako sa sarili ko, hindi man ako kagandahan pero alam ko namang hindi ako panget noh, choss! magagalit ako pag sinabihan mo ko, kahit joke, seriously! hahaha

21. Realize that you can’t be everything to everyone.

–CRITICAL BUT WORK IN PROGRESS, ouchh! super!

truth hurts but really you have to accept the sad truth. Pero syempre for a girl, syempre gugustuhin mo din na may mag appreciate sayo, yung feeling na you’re someone’s princess, tapos yung feeling  na you’re everything to someone na kahit yung ngiti mo lang okay na kanila, yung feeling na ang haba ng hair mo, yung pinapahalagahan ka, yung feeling na ikaw yung pinakamaganda,

ADMIT it guys, diba?? hindi lang ako ang umaasa,

kaso , that’s life , ika nga, EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY, fairy tale ba ang hanap mo? hala sige managinip ka ng gising!

Accept it, that maybe someone meant the world for you, pero that someone does’nt give a damn about you. You have to realize that sometimes you have to be hurt, you have to look around you and value only those people who cares and love you unconditionally, those who will be hurt when you are hurting. And most of all, learn to value yourself! Love yourself and believe in yourself, (sana nga ganun lang kadali yun! haha)

So thats it, I just finished assesing myself, it’s your turn,

People Pleasers! we can do this, We should work together to heal  ourselves and be the person who we really are, Pleasing ourselves!